Audrey

Audrey Hepburn The movie star	Audrey II The mean, green mother from outer space
Audrey III The turtle, see the resemblance.

Audrey III is a turtle. A red eared slider to be exact. Originally she was named Jethro Tertull, but there was one small problem with that name: She is a she, and Jethro is a boy's name. So I got to thinkin'. She's cute like Audrey Hepburn. And she eats a lot, like the plant in Little Shop of Horrors, who name was Audrey II. So her name is now Audrey III.

Turtles like temperatures up in the high 80's, but pet stores usually keep turtle tanks in the mid 70's. The lower temperature makes them sluggish and not very hungry. It takes a few days for them to get used to their new warmer climate and then the appetite kicks in. Have you ever seen a turtle eat? It can get messy.

A couple of days after I got her I dumped 10 feeder gold fish into the tank with her and she ate them in about 10 seconds. So I got 20 more. They swam franticly around the tank as if they were screaming, "Oh my God! There's a turtle in here! I didn't sign on for this man!" Some even took their chances on dry land. Over the course of a couple of hours she ate 15 more, and has been eating a couple a day since.

The tank was getting a bit green. So I figured a plecostomus would help control the algae. I bought a small $2 sucker fish and put it into the tank. Audrey ate it. Ripped it in half with her claws. Did you know plecostomus is red meat. I really didn't need to find this out. Four perfectly healthy 8¢ feeders in the tank and she has to chomp on the $2 sucker fish. We can't have nice things!