When I was 15ish, maybe 16 but probably more like 15, I saw Animal House for the first time. At that point I decided, "I am going to join a fraternity when I go to college!" Then I saw Every Which Way but Loose. Loved Clide. But I thought that the bikers with spider tattoos where the coolest thing in the world, well except for the nazi dickhead part. The tattoos were cool. At that point I decided, "When I turn 18, I'm going to get a tattoo!" Well 18 came and went, I started college, no tattoo, no fraternity. A few years later my "baby" sister went off to college on a study abroad program in England. It was just for one semester, but she came back with a tattoo. Well if my "baby" sister can get a tattoo, what is stopping me? What do I want??? A spider, no... reminds me of nazi dickhead bikers, cool ones but... I should get my fraternity! But I havn't joined one yet. While I was heming and hawing over what I should get, Dad found out about my sister's tattoo. That didn't go over well. He lectured both of us about how he was in the navy for three years and didn't have any "marks" on him. About what people will think of you. About having to keep it a secret and throwing our lives away at such a young age. It stuck. Well, not stuck, I just saw how upset and disappointed he was, and I did not want to do that to him again. So I put it on the back burner, the tiny one that never gets used. In 1992 I joined a fraternity. Alpha Phi Omega, Co-ed National Service Fraternity. Animal House it is not. APO doesn't even have houses. So am I getting the tattoo now? No, I can't disappoint my dad.

In May of 2001 Dad died.

I did not handle it very well.

13 years pass and I was then about to turn 45. I got a call from one of my son's teachers. He called me "Mister Stefanisko". It was bad news, I was disappointed with my son's behavior in class.

At that point I had been a father for 11 years, but it just never clicked that I am Dad, I am Mister Stefanisko. I don't have to worry about disapointing my dad anymore. I am the Dad, I am the Mister Stefanisko. I'm turning 45 soon and I don't have a tattoo yet. This is something that has been on hold for 30 years. I knew exactly what I wanted. So I took my art work and $500 in cash to the nearest tattoo parlor and said, "I want this on my sholder." It was a small, 3in tall BSD Daemon.

The receptionist asked, "Do you have an appointment?" Uh... apointment? No. "We don't take walk-ins." Oh. Well I guess I'll make an apointment then. This is where the momentum starts to wear off, do I really want to do this, am I going to ruin my life, what if ... FUCK IT! Sign me up for next Friday 7pm. $50 deposit, no problem here's $60. Friday comes and I make up a BS reason that I have to leave work early. Of couse I tell the wife I'm staying late.

I'm ready to go. Ink me! Oh, a stensil. OK. So now it is more like 7:30 and we start. I'm ready for more pain than I have ever experienced. But... it doesn't really hurt. I mean it's uncomfortable, but so is 30 years of worrying about disappointing your dad. This was actually exciting, it was liberating, it was arrousing. Oh I hope no one looks at my pants. It took about 45 minutes to line and shade my little BSD Daemon. So I'm ready to fork over the rest of my $500 for my tiny tattoo. The artist says, well you already put a $60 deposit down, so let's call it $30 more. $30? That's it? What am I going to do with all this extra money... Humm... a Tux on the other arm would be cool. So I made another apointment for the next week.

That was 2014. I got my first two tatoos after 30 years of "thinking about it". Now (2017) I have somewhere between 12 and 30 depending on how you count. I mean is a body suite one tattoo or a hundred? Not that I have a body suit. I barly have sleeves, short sleeves at that. My dad's voice is still in the back of my head telling me I'm going to ruin my life, and to keep them a secret. So I don't have anything that can't be covered up with regular business clothes. I keep promising myself that when I retire I'm getting sleeves. Hopefully I still have good skin when that happens.